Marco Rubio's swallow heard 'round the world

If Marco Rubio and his people have half a brain, they will turn his thirst for water into a trademark. In public appearances, he'll be all "You know, me and my water" as he takes a sip of water. A nation shakes its head fondly, and with a sitcom posture of hands on hips or folded arms will say: "Oh, Rubio." And Rubio will look at the crowd or the camera with a "Hey, I gotta be me." Freeze frame. Credits roll.

But his State of the Union rebuttal was a disaster. Not only making up points to refute that weren't even in the State of the Union speech, but Rubio made a variety of claims contrary to reality.

An essential point was one Rubio made early on: "See, for much of human history, most people were trapped in stagnant societies where a tiny minority always stayed on top." He meant to say the U.S. is different from that. But it is not. U.S. class mobility does not really exist. The U.S. has record wealth but the lower 98% is not enjoying it, despite worker productivity nearly doubling as our earnings have stagnated due to corporate stooges of all parties, including Marco Rubio.

Poland Spring water, the brand Rubio desperately gulped, had better get on this moment. It's promotional gold for them. That's capitalism.