What is Easter? Traditions of fertility/death replaced by NOM NOM

Coopted image does not link to any discountsBewildered by a chain of tradition from a pagan rite of spring...

to celebrating god killing OTHER people's firstborn...

to THAT god's firstborn rising after being dead for three days...

to a rabbit that hides eggs and candy all over the place...

but I'm down with that last phase when it involves spending time with family, and collateral candy.