Another Facebook ad on the log off screen wants me to get hitched/hooked up. First it was Christian Single (my report about that) that whiffed it as a targeted ad. I am not Christian and not single. My Facebook profile lists my religious views as “Heathen/Hellenic”. My marital status: “Married”. I’m all about helping the CIA/FBI/NSA save a few keystrokes on research. The Christian Mingle ad made it look like the first date would lead to marriage THAT SAME NIGHT. Too much pressure! Sure, I am charming enough to pull that off on someone, but my choice would be to wait until the second date. Between my lack of smoove operator skills and blitzkrieg atheism, I would leave a trail of metaphysical destruction across the Christian Mingle terrain like the Tasmanian Devil cartoon character through a forest. Get thee behind me, Christian Mingle!

THEN Match.com targeted an ad featuring greasy women (my report). What in my profile indicated that was my type? Never pondered it as a “thing” before. Not saying it’s without merit, but still a shock. 

All of these Our Time models (actual customers?) appear to be fine people. I shuddered slightly at the woman on the right who appears to have had “some work done”. In a dating scenario, I would reserve judgment (Maybe recuperative surgery? Tell me more, madam, about your disfiguring traumatic event and how you surpassed it to defy nature and use science to seize control of your personal appearance and gain agency against the amoral churning of the Void!)

Then her photo is featured in the thumbnail image of a sample profile, which conveys: “Well, this is pretty much what we got. A lot of this.” 

Hey, Our Time, how about some women of color? It’s 2013. The white patriarchy is diminishing. Way past time for minds to open up. If we white males don’t do a better job of mingling with races on the rise we will fade completely. Are you trying to kill off all memory of my people, Our Time? Where will the future hockey players come from if your scheme succeeds?

The ad shows a “over 45” criterion. Absolutely nothing wrong than that (I’m 44 as I type this). Guess that means 46 and over? Seems ageist.