Santorum, fecal demi-Catholic, lubey, wants to spray you

Rick Santorum cites the Catholic Church as his source of moral guidance. Like most Catholics, he cherry picks which direct-from-god dictates to follow, no matter how much of a furrowed brow and pointed finger the Pope-of-the-day makes on the topic. He hates women having control over their bodies, contraception EVEN IN MARRIAGE, and homosexuals.

Does he follow the Catholic Church’s stance against capital punishment, the Iraq War, and unversal health care? Doubtful. I’d check that, but it would require a mouse drag all the way to the top of this browser window to use the search engine and I’m not putting that much effort into it.

Back when Santorum still held elective office, he was an asshole then, too, and columnist Dan Savage ran a contest to create a definition of “santorum” to mess with search engine results. Known as Santorum’s “Google problem”, here’s the winning reader submission:

Pronunciation: san-TOR-um, Function: noun, Etymology: Savage Love – 05/29/03

1. The frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex.
2. Former Senator Rick Santorum

Here’s a political ad by Rick Santorum in which his right-now pollitical rival, Mitt Romney, gets sprayed by a frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter:

Villain! This ad uses the overture to Carmen. Fool! Fiend! Carmen belongs to meeee!

The final image is a dead ringer for the image long at Santorum.com to keep stank all over his name.

Santorum is a weirdo!

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