E-cigs, those vapor-based nicotine delivery systems with little LEDs on the end of them, look silly-ass. Marketing talks about “vape” and “vaping”. To my ears it sounds like an ill-researched attempt by marketers to develop a new slang term. Like when a square in a suit sits down “to have a rap” with teenagers.

How do we compare smoke to the e-cig water vapor emitted by these dorky blue-lit sticks? Howsabout “vape” instead of “smoke”? SOUNDS COOL! Let’s give this a go…

Hey, brother. Can I bum a vape?

I got to take my vape break. I’m allowed one every two hours due to labor laws.

Is this flight non-vaping?

Where is the vaping section?

Hold up. Can we stop here at the store? I gotta get a pack of vapes.

Holy shit! She looks GREAT! She’s vaping hot!

I wish I could quit vaping. But, fuck it.

If you HAVE to vape, please roll down the window. My mom’ll get pissed if the car smells like we’ve been vaping. She has no idea I vape.

Smoking DOES have allow for great visuals. It’s instant atmosphere, particles catching the light around an individual. An act of defiance: I know this will kill me. And I don’t care. I’m choosing this moment of dosage and pleasure receptors tickling away and demonstrating that I flirt with mortality on my terms, and my terms, my defiance against amoral and random Nature, is to will my end to arrive a little closer, to be less exposed to random chance than you non-smoking saps.

Using e-cigarettes conveys: Good thing this thing is not truly lit by fire, else I’d be ignited by my own fumes of Axe Body Spray and desperation.