Oh, sure, this cat starts nursing a baby squirrel with the rest of her new litter and we’re all supposed to go “Awww! Adorbs!”

But when I nurse a baby squirrel in public I get “Get off the bus!” or “Hey, leave the altar!” or “You need to exit the park, sir.” That’s speciesist and sexist. Supposedly the squirrel has learned from the cats how to purr. Cute? Sure. Useful? No. If the squirrel gets into the wild it is doomed.

Meanwhile, I teach my whelping squirrels useful things like how to waterski. That’s both a recrational skill and a darned job that brings money back home from R.V. shows, gun shows, and auto shows.

And I choose to raise my squirrels in the Jedi faith. If you have a problem with that, you’re also a bigot. Here are my squirrel kids Mr. Cheeks, Squeekers, and Darth Acorn worshipping in the park.

Many people dig this and are cool with it. If you think this is weird, I’m not going to hate you back. I just take a deep breath, let your bad energy out of my system, and say: “May the Force be with you.”