I buy Kanye West albums and enjoy them. I have seen clips of the porno Kim Kardashian made with Ray J. Didn’t think we’d be mashing up Kanye music videos with the pneumatic Kim Kardashian’s sex tape, but here we are, United States of America.

The motorcycle has more personality than Kardashian. To give the video more depth, take it as a story about West loving his bike, but a woman keeps intruding AND RUINING IT:

What this video needs, what keeps it from being genius instead of studiously obnoxious, is a cut scene of Kardashian & West riding through the forest moon of Endor on the speeder bikes from Return of the Jedi. Imagine how awesome it would be to have Kim pressing her bubbies against West as they pass by Luke & Leia evading Storm Troopers! Play the song while watching the video below:

Since West’s Late Registration (2005), an album I’ve listened to a lot, I haven’t listened more than a few times to each album that followed. Since the media labeled him an egomaniac, and a lot of his songs afterward have been his ownership of being an egomaniac, the songs don’t stick with me as much. Meaning, as a fellow egomaniac, I hear Kanye West songs and the thoughts don’t seem to be that much different than my usual waking, self-aggrandizing thoughts. His music does not provide me a significantly different human experience. People go: “Wow, Kanye West is an over-the-top and daring asshole.” I go: “Uh, this is pretty much me strutting in the grocery store and glancing over magazine covers.”

I have never watched an episode of any of the Kardashian shows. I do see clips of them mocked on The Soup. Kim Kardashian seems vapid. I’m a little mystified by West & Kardashian as a couple. Like the rest of the world, I try contemplating them while NOT evoking West’s song “Gold digger”. I do have an admiration for Kardashian shaping her porn-driven notoriety into a huge industry over her toddling around in outfits while doing nothing at all of artistic or cultural consequence. She is a lucrative success with a longevity greater than Paris Hilton, who took the same path to less effect. West and Kardashian both have ambition, like the Macbeths, and impressive media savvy. Is that enough to sustain their relationship & parenthood? I won’t pay money for magazines or go beyond my usual trash culture grazing for updates. But when the zeitgeist membrane flicks along a milestone update, I will probably nod and go “Ah!”

As a palate-cleanser, here’s Seth Rogen and James Franco paying homage to Kanye & Kim in their video “Broken 3”: