‘New Girl’, vagina technique: everybody gets a churro

A terrific moment from ‘New Girl’, a show that seemed it would bug the shit outta me but is hilarious and moving toward greatness. Could it be I’ve progressed from chewing psycho-emotional cud over teenage angst to late 20s-early 30s cud? Counts as progess. I may be mature by age 60 at this rate. Excellent!

Schmidt, accomplished ladies’ man, is here consulting with a lesbian gynecologist. Schmidt has lost sexual confidence and they exchange techniques here. We laughed so hard we missed the final line: “Everybody. Gets. A churro.”

Another storyline involved procrastinating on writing. Not that I’m doing that, right now, by blogging instead of writing.

The core of Scmidt’s technique, because Valentine’s Day will be here before you know it:

Then what I’ll do is, is I’ll go outside, get the paper, and shake the neighbor’s hand.

Then what I’ll do is I’ll tie a bow on it, because it’s birthday time, then get onstage and collect my Oscar, and say “Thank you!” to the people, “Thank you!” to the people. Then get back down off stage and get everybody into the sharing circle, right down in there on the sharing circle, and then SPIKE THE VOLLEYBALL.

What I like to do is, I like to arrive at the bridge, meet the troll, and then answer his riddles three. And then what we do is we’re dancing, we’re just gonna dance, we’re gonna dance for a while, dance until you can’t dance anymore, dance until you can’t dance ANYMORE. Then everybody. Gets. A churro. [mouth pop]”

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