With Les Demoiselles d’Avignon

As I came off the street, the dusky woman of Nile pedigree looked to try to place me. This was my third visit here. Third time seeing her.

Combien?”

Deux.” I held two fingers, pressed in parallel. To split the fingers seemed too lewd. Not a typical gesture from me. It looked like a salute.

She opened her mouth and before she could exhale a barter I said “Six cent Euros.” This broke her routine. She was glad. With a nod she picked up the phone to whisper the order. I did not peruse the room. I knew the room. These were not the jitters of the first time. If I knew my place, was grounded, perhaps I would impress her. Perhaps she would let me in to who she was. I could be a sheik and she my dutiful wife of the night. Or she would master me and I would listen and get glimpses and sounds and tastes of serving Hatshepsut. Not Cleopatra, the hostess was not Greek. She was regal wherever she went. I was the interloper. I was the one imported to her world.

I breathed steadlity and kept my footfalls flat but solid as I followed her up the stairs. Her white diaphanous dress a promise not to come, but to allure. Entice & snare below, drag them upstairs. It worked. I admired the slit in the gown that showed her leg and its strong thigh. Not gamine, my usual type.

At the doorway was a curtain. Without a prompt from me she stood with one assertive kouros foot forward, less kore now than a fading ephebe turned into warrior as a guide to a battle or slaughter. Her broad feet were darker than the skin on her face and neck and arms and thigh. Maybe it was the cold, but her feet were more than flush, they were splotched red. Another’s red? This was not a boudoir, though surely made to look like one, nor an abattoir. I was the one paying. This was a service to me. But I knew I would be lesser than when I came in. I would leave something from within me in this room to be rinsed away to prepare for the next one.

My eyes went first to the small table with ripe grapes so large they were probably chosen for tumescence, doubtful their taste mattered. A full pear was next to the grapes. A half apple was behind the pear, only slightly browned. Maybe someone in the room ate it. Maybe the last customer, or one before, had it for a repast before exit. The crescent-shaped plate had crumbs of cheese. Probably a fully furnished plate when the day began. A paring knife was on the floor. It was now an hour before lunch.

With a rustle behind me the hostess was gone. Then I was floating above the bed as two women were partially draped in the bedsheet gazing up at me with anticipation. Not with eagerness but from waiting for what my move would be. Which variation on their well-practiced routines would we follow? I thought back on the royal Egyptian woman boy always stronger than me and how much I wanted to howl with her and become frenzied and lost and accomplish what I want in commanding these distant women soon to be pressed to me, for word to get back to her that I was triumphant in her maison d’abattage. That I behaved myself here. That I would be welcome back here a fourth time, remembered, greeted by her again and again.

My imagination over these two waiting women split and fractured between them as I noticed parts of one I liked over the other then speculation shifted to the other’s graces and potential and a split of the blue sky and white clouds soaring outside and calling out and viewing through the bay window. Perhaps we would stay and talk and pet and read and be at leisure as the light shafts shifted during the slow trek of the sun and slugabed parade of cumulus clouds.

Once I was done I would not be inclined to stay, to solicit their real names, to discuss the sublime and refuge of art and exchange witticisms over the politics of the day. I would exit and perhaps walk past a woman sitting at a spongebath and I would admire her haunches and line of her back and smoothness and splayed legs and she would see me and appraise me for how much I would bring for her. They develop a talent for judging quickly the want in your eyes and how much you would pay and how much effort they would put into drawing it from you.

Maybe I would make a quick turn when leaving this room, catch a charwoman supplementing her right to work here and live here by helping maintain the halls and rooms. She may be faded, or a grotesque, but still able to draw from a well-moneyed few with particular fancy cravings. Or the wrangler of a long-maintained clientele year over year that kept returning until they moved elsewhere or died.

I left the pear and the apple. I ate two grapes, not that good but my throat was dry and I was glad for it. The room of pink flesh and white sheets and yellow and orange light was now behind me. The open blue sky would soon be above me once I struck out on the sidewalk again. Mon bordel.

 

Andrés 3000, get your silly ass back into the studio

Andrés 3000 from OutKast (and effectively a solo artist): enough with your primping razor commercials with professional squinter Adrian Brody and that cuddly Spanish actor. You’re so fresh and so clean, we GET IT, but we don’t like you for your grooming. We like you because you’re funny and funky in your music.

Get back in the studio and make another album. Take in Big Boi if possible, or not.

In defense of palooka Billy Joel

I have no idea whether Billy Joel has recorded an album in the last thirty years. The Billy Joel I know has a weird chip on his shoulder about being disrespected by critics in the late 70s and 80s for, I guess, not being Paul Simon?

New York already has a Paul Simon. It only needs the one Paul Simon. I don’t see Billy Joel falling into a sustained melancholy like Paul Simon, or at least ENJOYING the melancholy like Paul Simon. I would go eat pizza with Billy Joel without thinking. I’d have some hesitation about eating pizza with Paul Simon, though I have more of his music.

The Nylon Curtain is a favorite album. I haven’t listened to it all the way through since the 80s. The songs aren’t all great, but even as a kid listening to it on cassette what was appealing was Billy Joel making an effort to stretch. “Goodnight Saigon” is a moving song. “Pressure”, thinking about this right now, might have been inspired by Peter Gabriel. Especially the video. Oh shit. I may have to go on a walk after posting this.

“Allentown” is a hallmark song for Joel. Listening it today it’s still pretty great, and he marvelously adds seven or eight syllables in the first word of “restlessness was handed down”. He may STILL be in the studio in the middle of pronouncing “restlessness”. I remember reading in Rolling Stone mentioning the people in Allentown, PA not caring for the song. That saga is interesting.

“We Didn’t Start the Fire” is a horrible fucking song. Not a horrible song for fucking (that too), but on the all-time list of awful songs. Bottom five on my list. Baby boomer apologia. If reading the mention of the song compels you to listen to it, you got a Google or iTunes, go for it. I won’t link to it. I love you way too goddamn much to be that conduit.

“You May Be Right” is a future karaoke song for me. Once done, I may expire fully content. Joel’s performance below gets cut off before the finish. He is a major dorkus malorkus here, unclear whether he knows that or if he thinks he’s being menacing. Whatever he’s doing, he’s OWNING it here, which deserves RESPECT, you mook, and you may laugh when you start viewing this, but when it ends abruptly you will feel blueballed/ovaried!

Do I lick this?

Part of the storytelling chocolate genre: this mediocre morsel packaged with a mini trading card about the Baorisa Moth, “arguably the most beautiful of the Noctuid moths, resembling an Art Deco, Piet Mondrian creation”. Even the Intelligent Designer is an art critic. No bug flavoring detected. Alarmingly, no ingredients listed, though cacao is referenced.

 

Goodwill towards men’s fashion

Dropped off maybe 40-50 pounds of clothes at Goodwill today. Part of the acceptance process that the 90s will not be coming back (my closet and personal history: “thank gawwwd!”).

1.) Several shirts I held onto for years because they were expensive and I liked the colors. There’s a difference between admiring colors from a distance and wearing something that makes you look like a pack of Fruit Stripe gum.

2.) My t-shirts breed like Tribbles. I’ve tagged the remaining t-shirts to track their movements and figure out what the heck they’re doing.

Holy art critics!

Seems like superstition is the only thing that makes objection to a work of art homocidal.

A few years ago, Danish cartoons skeptical about Islam and Muhammad led to death threats, attacks, and death. Now many people have lost their minds over a YouTube movie critical of Islam. Riots. People dead. For what? Superstitions.

On February 14, 1989 Iranian cleric and ruler Ayotollah Ruhollah Khomeni ordered a fatwa against Salman Rushdie, author of the new book The Satanic Verses. The fatwa was a sentence of death. Khomeni offered the  bounty out of his own pocket.

Did Khomeni actually read the book? Probably not. A mild book. A fatwa is not issued against non-believers. Rushdie, who grew up Muslim, was an apostate. THAT was worthy of death. Khomeni was also contending with a raft of shit for hundreds of thousands of Iranian deaths in an ongoing battle with Saddam Hussein in Iraq. Wrestling with the ambiguities of war and fading public relations? Declare a holy war against a straw man!

Rushdie lived under death threats for many years. Publishers and translators of the book were attacked and left for dead. Why? Superstition.

And many significant figures in the West were of little help. Rather than defend the right to free expression, several thought Rushdie brought the misery and mortal peril upon himself for seeming to challenge superstitious beliefs. “Respect of faith” was deemed more importance than free expression. Examples:

“I well understand the devout Muslims’ reaction, wounded by what they hold most dear and would themselves die for.”
– Robert Runcie, Archbishop of Canterbury

“Both Mr Rushdie and the Ayatollah have abused freedom of speech.”
– Immanuel Jakobovits, chief rabbi of Great Britain

Ecumenical attacks on free speech are not a solution. Superstitions make people think they are no longer bound by the social contract or the law. Superstitions cause people to believe that misbehavior in this life will lead to eternal reward in the next life. Misbehavior in this life can be a fine thing, but eternal bliss is false. Its touted rewards tend to be numbingly dull or tellingly revenge-driven and tawdry.

I’ll take bad art over sloppy books claiming magical powers any day.

But, hoo-boy, by this THIRTEEN MINUTE MOVIE TRAILER this movie looks like an unholy mess!

Hospital, doggerel antidote – what is truly great

Bradley: His Book, 1896, by William Henry Bradley, NYC Metropolitan Museum of ArtHad a spare hour yesterday, spent it writing in a hospital cafeteria. My first productive period in a month and a half. Felt good to be in a hospital out of volition. No cause to visit anyone, or to get treatment. No vigil. Taking agency against amoral Nature. Did you feel the burn, there, physical entropy? Did ya? Sure, the eventual victory will be yours, but to rage, RAGE against the dying of the light, yesterday gave off a lovely light.

A couple lines of musty doggerel yesterday stuck in my head yesterday. In the gym today, I tried to find something to chase that away. Scanning my iPod, found “Seascape” by Stephen Spender. The catch? The track is named “Seascape” on the iPod, but it was “I Think Continually of Those Who Were Truly Great” that I listened to over and over. Let that be a warning about the integrity of bootleg poetry tracks downloaded during the Napster heyday of 2000-01.

I Think Continually Of Those Who Were Truly Great
Stephen Spender

I think continually of those who were truly great.
Who, from the womb, remembered the soul’s history
Through corridors of light where the hours are suns
Endless and singing. Whose lovely ambition
Was that their lips, still touched with fire,
Should tell of the Spirit clothed from head to foot in song.
And who hoarded from the Spring branches
The desires falling across their bodies like blossoms.

What is precious is never to forget
The essential delight of the blood drawn from ageless springs
Breaking through rocks in worlds before our earth.
Never to deny its pleasure in the morning simple light
Nor its grave evening demand for love.
Never to allow gradually the traffic to smother
With noise and fog the flowering of the spirit.

Near the snow, near the sun, in the highest fields
See how these names are fêted by the waving grass
And by the streamers of white cloud
And whispers of wind in the listening sky.
The names of those who in their lives fought for life
Who wore at their hearts the fire’s center.
Born of the sun they traveled a short while towards the sun,
And left the vivid air signed with their honor.

Snapshots of “Paparazzi”

Driving with the kids for about two hours today, we listened to Lady Gaga and Adele. Putting them on means the kids keep the headphones off. We shifted to ‘West Side Story’ in the last 20 minutes.

“Paparazzi” came on, and I visualized (while still driving safely) the three moments in the video I like the most.

1.) Malady-afflicted celebrity bravely and stylishly taking to the red (okay, lavender) carpet on crutches (2:54 mark):

2.) The Mickey Mouse ensemble with plastic/wax lips she has when poisoning her attempted murderer (5:45 mark):

3.) Dishevelled sass when getting her mugshots at the police station (7:16 mark):

The full video for your convenience (all about saving you the keystrokes in a search engine):

Quickie post – Marilyn and James Joyce

A fast entry because I’m tired of a squirrel carcass being the toppamost post. Here’s a photo of Marilyn Monroe reading ‘Ulysses’ by James Joyce. One may snort derisively. Remember Monroe was married to esteemed playwright Arthur Miller. She likely enjoyed the book. Also this photo is adorable and brainy and hot.

Gore Vidal now through the door marked “exit”

I’ll miss this guy. He was sometimes full of horseshit, but when others claimed he was full of horseshit often they were proven to be wrong. So allowance must be given.

He tended to bring out the worst in people who weren’t confident in themselves. Interviewers/journalists suffering from what Harold Bloom would call the anxiety of influence got con-testy with Vidal, which he would detect and throw back. The best interviewers were fine in their own skin and ended up in decent conversations or giving him good setups for his lapidary phrases and tales.

He loved his country, his republic, with a deep love that meant always wanting better, and wanting to ward off its perceived decline by calling out when it had more pomp than substance. No, that’s way too buttery. He saw our country as a Miss Havisham, and described her past charms and decay in great and savage detail. If he had a magic wand to restore her vitality he would, but he knew woefully no such wand was available.

Feeling sore about both Vidal and Christopher Hitchens dying within a year of one another. I doubt I’ll be as deeply eager what any other public figure, or eager to be suprised by what any other public figure thinks.

Chronically elegiac with a zest lit from a core of hope.