Red Lion has this ad directed at same-sex couples. “We look forward to
playing an important part of your life and future.” Sweet!

“Let’s make history together.” Very nice. We’ve all been in that spot, asking ourselves or our group of revolutionaries: “How’re we gonna get some justice up in here?” The answer, always, is to call the Red Lion. When thinking of the front
lines of civil rights, Red Lion is always there, picket signs and
bullhorns blaring. Look in photos in history books – from the American Revolution to Selma to Occupy Wall Street you will always find Red Lion, po-faced and glorious mane flowing, pushing for social justice.

This ad is in a Portland alternative newspaper, Willamette Week. Sadly,
our bigoted state of Oregon bans same-sex marriage. Washington doesn’t,
and its city Vancouver just over the Columbia River has a Red Lion
staring back at us, a sentinel with its new open mindedness and legal
pot. The Red Lion in Portland, literally across the river along the same
longitude, looks northward in meek shame, knowing its state is on the wrong
side of history.

All demographics deserve the right to
be pandered to. But this line made me wince: “We offer on-site event
specialists, group room rates and tasteful culinary experiences.”

Red Lion as a destination for fussy foodies? Doubtful. As a privileged,
white, probably straight male (I’ll probably never know for sure – men are
fucking boring and I lack the physical courage required of normal homosexual
acts. How those fellas endure it is a marvel) I feel this ad
somehow implies MY group doesn’t give a shit about tasteful food or event details.

We don’t, but STILL having that coarse stereotype shoved right into my
face is darned offensive. I’m taking my rage to a Del Taco where I shall dine without using a napkin!